Oh yeah? Well my daddy is Secratariet.

Our kids attend a private school. Chris and I both went to public schools and Chris' parents were teachers in public schools. This post is not discrediting public or private education.

Why do our kids go to private school? It's a great liberal arts school and we're able to knock some nickles together to make it happen. When we can't find anymore change under the couch cushions, we'll go to plan B. The school also provides some much needed diversity for our kids.

Living in Utah county there's almost no religious diversity, and there are lots and lots of white people. Attractive white people. Other than when Mom and Dad lived in Venezuela, I don't think I've seen so many attractive people in one geographic location. In Caracas the women had big boobs, pretty lips, white teeth, silky hair, perfect manicures, tight clothes and high heels. 

Once before a visit Mom warned me, "Just leave any jealous tendencies at home. The women here are  drop-dead gorgeous. They dress sexy all the time, and they love attention... I think the national fabric is spandex. Chris will gawk. So will you. Prepare yourself."  The women were gorgeous and the men were handsome and machismo. Back to the education issue.

It was important for us to send our kids to a school that offered more diversity. We were seeking different faiths, ethnicities, family size and shape, and maybe a few ugly kids.

I was on a ski lift last winter with a couple from NYC. People are always curious about what it's "really like" to live here. They asked all the usual questions about liquor laws, and do people try to convert us. I told them our kids went to a private school, among other reasons, for the purpose of social variety. The couple found it ironic, because they said parents in NYC seeking diversity for their kids chose public school over private.

People make assumptions about us because of our decision to send the boys to private school. We don't think public school isn't "good enough". We're not rich. We value kindness, intelligence and a love of learning, over a pedigree that's tossed around as a status symbol. Schools known for their excellence certainly appeal to us and we can appreciate someone's discipline and ability to achieve their educational goal. But quality education can occur many places, formally and informally. I'd love to go back in time and have a do-over with my own college experience.

One time Chris was having a business lunch with several guys and it was the part when people start sniffing around to size each other up—they shared where they went to school. Harvard, Yale, Duke, MIT—Oh, two degrees from MIT?  Neato. (It is neat. Chris nor I have pedigrees.) 

During the lunch when a colleague of Chris' who is intelligent, down-to-earth, and happens to have an impressive pedigree, was asked where he went to school, he very seriously answered, "Pond's Institute."  Nobody got it—except Chris. Everyone nodded, oohed and ahhed.

You know, I don't care if our sons go to Oxford or The Pond's Institute, marry a Vegas Showgirl or become one. I hope they're kind, independent, want to share their lives with us, and never stop learning.

Comments

[vodkamom]

love it. (yeah, I got distracted by the machismo as well. )

[we_be_toys]

"I hope they're kind, independent, want to share their lives with us, and never stop learning."

And that's really all anyone should ever want, isn't it? It did surprise me that you had to send your kids to private school to find diversity; it is exactly the opposite here; but then I considered where you are, went, "oohhhhh!", and it was all good. (So spaketh the Tapdancer, yadda, yadda)

I wish I could redo my college career too - I majored in Too, Much & Fun, which doesn't land many jobs.

I laughed my head off at the Pond's Institute crack - you gotta love that guy!

[Corbie]

As a mom with kids who walk the same halls as yours, I totally relate to everything you wrote (but you already know that :). Recently, however, my friend Penny and I had this same discussion - how tired we get of people asking 'where did you study?' before they have fully absorbed our first names. I sent her your link...she will enjoy the Pond's Institute immensely.

[Kate]

Oh - I think I'd do many things differently... Starting with the college I chose and the major I ended up in... But then a lot of things in my life would be different - so no real regrets, right? And I hope it's the same for my kids. That they can appreciate the path they took - even if another would have been "better". I've definitely noticed that the "happiest" people seem to have the fewest regrets. And I suspect that this is more of an active decision than a result of having had a perfect past.

[Jennifer]

Diversity. That is the one big thing I will miss about returning to the US and living in Utah. I am very excited about this move but at the same time it would be great to have the kids grow up surrounded by a variety of cultures. Oh well, I'll make do, like you have. I'll find alternatives and do some teaching myself about the world around them.

[csquaredplus3]

We Be Toys - A major of "Too, Much & Fun" sounds very educational.

Corbie - Like I said in our email exchange, "Where did you study?" drips with pretentiousness. And again, I'm not sour grapes, or anti-higher education. Where we went to school is not always synonymous with "good person" or conventional success, or intelligence. Also like we agreed, many people (not all) who ask are chomping at the bit to tell you where they "studied".

Kate - I agree with you that we can "actively decide" the kind of person we want to be, regardless of our past.

Jennifer - Atta girl!

[DaGoddess]

What should matter most to any parent is the quality of the education and the character of the people around your children. If you can throw in extras, that's awesome!

I fought my ex to get my son into the school he now attends because I wanted him in a place that had more going for it than the money in the surrounding neighborhood. LD's in a school where we have excellent teachers, solid curriculum, kids from the poorest and the richest families in the district, and a variety of opportunities around him all the time. The added bonus is that he's no longer stuck with a few of the entitled bratty bullies he knew throughout elementary school. He's thriving. And that's how it should be for every child.

[the floydster]

"Post Institute" - hilarious. And the comment made about the happiest people seem to have the fewest regrets - I SO agree with that. When I hit my 50s I came to this when trying to make a decision: would I regret if I did/did not do something? If so, would I be able to live with the regret? If I didn't think I could live with the regret, then I had to reevaluate my decision. I live by the creed now and it has made my life considerably more exciting.

[Cheri @ Blog This Mom!]

Okay, but have you seen the campus at Oxford? It is flippin' amazing. So, I have to admit that it wouldn't cause me any pain if one of my children went there.

Seriously, I'm with you. I just want my kids to be happy and contributors in our world.

[csquaredplus3]

Da Goddess - Very well said.

The Floydster - Sounds like a good strategy.

Cheri - I've never been to Oxford, but beautiful campuses make me want to be a lifetime student. Again, I'm not anti-establishment, and people shouldn't feel badly about having attended good schools or conventional success. It's just, people use different measuring sticks for success.

[Mama Dawg]

Amen! Where I live, in order to get diversity, it's like NYC. Your kids have to go to public to get any. So, public it is for my kid.

Good for you guys for doing what's best for your kids instead of what others feel SHOULD be right.

[Sherri]

"I hope they're kind, independent, want to share their lives with us, and never stop learning."

Well said!