There's something about Mary...

Mary is our dog.  She's a 5-year-old miniature schnauzer we've had since she was 10-weeks-old.  Growing up, we always had a dog or two so I assumed I would enjoy having one as an adult.  I really don't.  Mary's a good little dog and she's not mistreated -- she has a nice life. 

I've realized I'm not a dog person and I can say that without shame... now.  We were told Mary would take a maximum of 2 weeks to housebreak.  It actually took an extra 102 weeks.  Two weeks plus 102 weeks = TWO years. 

As I complained to Mom about Mary's constant accidents, Mom said, "Well, you're just not a dog person," with the same tone in her voice used to describe someone's unpleasant, personal challenge, like, "Well, you know she's had problems with alcohol...AND she smokes."

Because someone isn't a dog person doesn't mean they don't like animals.  I actually love animals and am a responsible pet owner.  I'm simply being honest when I say, I think I made a mistake.  When life has me operating near the edge [more days than not], Mary throws-up or pees on the carpet and pushes me right over that edge.

Mary doesn't shed and is a clean breed, but the thought of where her paws have been outside as she trots in our house, bothers me.  The fact that she's naked makes me twitch and quiver.  I'd love for her to wear underwear or pants. [I imagine dog people don't have these thoughts.]  I don't like knowing she goes to the bathroom, doesn't wipe [not even on the grass -- I've watched], then comes in the house and sits down like every thing's normal.

Having confessed [without shame] that I am not a dog person, and Mary is our little weak-moment-decision who we love and can't imagine life without, I'd like to ease any real dog person's mind who might be concerned about Mary's longevity in our home by sharing how we saved her life.

When Mary was a little over a year old [still not housebroken] she became ill.  Turned out she had a blockage that required removal via surgery.  She developed staph infection a few days later, ended up being transported to a fancier facility, had a few more surgeries and was hospitalized for almost two weeks.  While she was in the animal hospital, Oldest Boy, Middle Boy and I visited her three times every day.  NOT kidding.  I cried each time, begged her to live -- the boys cried.  It was sad.  The doctors said it would take a miracle to save her. 

We received our miracle.  Eight. Thousand. Dollars. Later.

Chris says when Mary passes, he's making a hat out of her.  He wants something to show for the time, tears, sweat and $$$ he's invested.  Mary's longevity in our home is guaranteed.

Comments

[Tristan]

I am not a dog-lover either. My two boys, however, are aching for one and I know I will relent. I also know that I will spend the next ten or fifteen years following the animal around my house with a can of Lysol, spraying the disinfectant on every surface that her un-wiped butt has touched. We should start a support group!

[Chris]

I'm with ya Tristan - you name the place and the time for the support group - I'll bring the tissues.

No matter what your boys say, YOU ultimately will be taking care of the dog. Just speaking the truth Sista.

If you blog, I'd love to visit your site - and if you don't - you should!

[Tristan]

I have no doubt that you speak the truth, nevertheless, I am still in the first stage of the dog acquiring process: denial. Since the dog is not yet here, I can still pretend that my two sons will care for her when she gets here. Step 2, anger, will occur when this does not happen. Step 3, bargaining, or in my case bribary, will occur when I try to make it appealing to my sons to go scoop up the poop. Step 4, depression, will occur when they decide that all of the action figures on the planet are not adequate compensation for such a task. At last, acceptance, which in my world means profanity spewing forth as I grudgingly clean up the poop myself in a fruitless attempt to maintain my sanity!

See? We REALLY need a support group!

I have a blog, though it is more like a photo scrapbook to keep my family and friends updated. It is not nearly as entertaining as yours or Corbie's, but you are welcome to visit anytime. Just send me your e-mail address, and I'll add you to the list. tristanjh@yahoo.com

[Mom]

It was certainly not my intent to make you feel as though you were "less than", or that there was a negative implication in Dog Person vs. Non Dog Person. I'm glad you no longer feel shame......Mom

[Chris]

Oy-vey... Blog/Internet, I'd like you to meet Mom. sigh

[Mom]

Thanks Chris.......Mom