Divergent thoughts that might converge.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008 It's the time of year when many bloggers are inspired to write about back to school preparations, first day of school experiences, and generally how time flies as we watch our children grow. I don't know if that's what inspired Punk Rock Dad to write this piece on parenting today, but I like it.
Punk Rock Dad's post sends my mind in two separate directions. One - who's behind the blog? Two - parenting, which is as passion-filled as politics and religion.
Direction One - Who's behind the blog?
After reading Punk Rock Dad's blog for a few weeks - it's a new blog, not unlike my own - I believe him to be precisely who he says he is. Although, I confess to initially picturing him as someone different than who he portrays himself to be - or, I should say, who he is (no offense PRD - I'm a believer). Who knows though, and does it really matter?
Why do certain blogs appeal to us and others you can't leave fast enough - depends on the day for me. I wonder when people visit my blog - is the content interesting, or is someone trolling for hits? [I take a shower when I feel like a hit-whore.] I love seeing traffic increase, and comments are still like little presents - not throwing stones in a glass house. Feels good - except the whore part - that feels bad.
When I started this blog my friend T said he *liked* it but could tell I was holding back. He said, why don't you use an anonymous name and be a little naughty? I said, "Why don't you use an anonymous name and be a little naughty?" I think his point is valid - obviously anonymity provides more freedom. Creative endeavors are intimate and can be risky if too much self-esteem is attached. Ironically, it's some of the people closest to me who I allow to constipate my writing the most. Friends like T and my husband are safe - but it's a select few.
Direction Two - Parenting
Chris and I are doing the best we can. I believe most people are. We put thought into how we're raising our sons, we've read lots of books, listened (sort-of) to our parents, watched friends, attempted to emulate people we thought had *good* kids. Every time I have a strong criticism of someone's parenting style, something happens in our lives that sharply softens that criticism. Oh, I realize. They're doing the best they can.
Punk Rock Dad's post today illustrates the unique experiences we bring to our parenting style. I believe it also illustrates that we fundamentally all want our kids to be healthy, happy, loved, loving, decent, considerate, contributing human beings. There's more than one road to that end.
Reader Comments (12)
I know Chris and Chrissy are doing a phenomenal job as parents because, unlike all the random traffic you probably get, I actually get to see the product of all of that semi-listening to your parents that you did - and those kids are spectacular!
xoxo - Corbie
Love my new name...Claire
Kate - I assure you that I silently sympathize with parents managing fitting children. More than you'll EVER know.
Claire - I love your blog too, you Unmitigated, Middle-Aged-Woman you.
I also LOVE your blog. I have known that you were a gifted writer for a long, long time :)
Six and a half years later, I continue using Da Goddess simply because I don't want my many worlds to collide. And yes, they've changed and grown in that time. I have great friends, but not all of them would understand the blog or what I reveal. Funny, if they saw the photos, they'd know instantly who was at the helm.
But here's the thing. If I want to write about sex, I will. If I want to write about love, I will. If I want to rant and rave about family, children, pets, neighbors, politics, or fast food restaurants, I will. Because I can. Mostly from a "circle of trust" position. Those who read me know me as one person. It's me. Just a different name than the one I use in real life. (Unless some marvelous man comes along and wants to worship me. I'd welcome that. Yes, indeedy.)
When I knew there were prying eyes, I held back and I stopped feeling like I had an outlet. I hated it. I finally let go and took whatever backlash there was. I had to. I just can't stifle my true self.
As for parenting, you know what? We all do the best we can. Books, advice from parents and friends, the media, whatever...that only goes so far until you're faced with reality. From everything I've read here, I think you have that instinct to know what's going to work best for you and your children.
If my son were here right now, I'd consider feeding him ice cream for dinner and broccoli for dessert. :D
When Skylar was only two months old I started reading parenting books so that I'd be prepared when the normal issues arised. I expected that this would not be hard, that I would follow the protocol and get the expected results. I thought he would be like me: self-motivated, eager to please and very obedient. Skylar is a phenomenal kid, but he has his own personality, one that sometimes causes his curiosity to override his good judgement. My husband told me to lower my expectations. I was devestated. But we're making our way, adjusting as we go along. And at the end of the day I don't think I'm doing too bad. And I think both of my kids are great!
Robin - Thinking you should blog...
Da Goddess - Nice of you to share your experiences. Gives me stuff to chew on. Thanks.
Tristan - They're all so different. We're all so different. There just can't be a "one size fits all" approach to parenting. I'm sure your kids are great - sounds like you're a dedicated parent. Neat.