Be honest...

I like comfortable shoes.  I'm also a typical gal who likes to look pulled together with my own sense of style.  It's a very casual style that I have, but I feel silly if I try to dress like a Junior League-er or keep up with the trendsetters when in reality I'm a quasi-urban-granola meets wanna-be-urban-cowgirl who loves her pearls and a well structured blouse once in a while [maybe that is a bit Junior League-ish].

I don't work outside the home.  Some days I only leave the house to pick up the older boys from school, so it's just 4-year-old boy and me together... all day.  Other days I take kids to music lessons, karate, run errands [not fancy places], and occasionally meet Chris for lunch.  I'm usually puttering around the house and yard [read here], doing the things that most stay-at-home parents do to keep the house running smoothly.

Again, I like comfortable shoes.  I've tried to deviate [read here], but I always return to comfortable.

When I went to Texas a couple of weeks ago for my 25th high school reunion, I packed what I thought were very cute [and comfortable] shoes.  I wore a pair of Dansko Mary Jane's on the plane and changed into a pair of Dansko green strappy sandals, with a heel, when I arrived at my friend Vicki's house because it was hotter than I expected.

As I unpacked, my two friends, Vicki and Betty, were there chatting as we played show-and-tell with clothes, photos and hair drama.  I showed them the shoes I brought and how I planned to incorporate them into my reunion outfits [this was a very casual reunion].

Vicki said, "Those look like something my grandma would wear."

Betty chose her words carefully, "It's just...  well... you look like you stepped out of a Columbia catalog."

I was shocked.  "You don't think these are cute?!  I'm not a Dallas-girl, ya' know.  This is me.  I live in Utah and I schlep kids around all day.  My life is very casual... and sporty."

My friends wouldn't budge so I didn't wear anything Dansko to the reunion functions.  But I wore my comfortable shoes the rest of the time in Texas.

My Dansko collection:

 

They're not that bad.  Are they?

I have cute Non-Dansko shoes too.  A few kitten heels, strappy flats, and a couple pairs of I-Look-Ridiculous-In-These-Because-They're-So-Not-Me-But-My-Husband-Loves-Them high heels.

Maybe it's time for me to change brands of comfortable shoes.  I asked a gal at Anthropologie if she liked the Dansko Mary Jane's I was wearing the other day.  She said she did.  I figured she would because... she works at Anthropologie.  I needed the easy stroke.  She mentioned, politely of course, that I might find some comfortable, but up to date, styles on the Frye website.

I don't know.  Are they that bad?  Be honest.  [Except you, Vicki, Betty, and Dallas-girls.]

Comments

[Robin Arnold]

While I may geographically fall into your predetermined "keep your opinion to yourself" region I do not think of myself as a Dallas-girl and therefore have decided I shall speak my peace.

'I live in Utah and schlep kids around' is NOT a reason to wear these shoes. I am a flight attendant (with a bad back and bunions) or I am a nurse (in a mental facility) are far more appropriate reasons for the footwear I see before me. Those babies are screaming RETIREMENT (home).

You are a young, active, vibrate, creative and a hysterically gifted writer. You find humor in all things. You see the world for its irony and your creative outlet makes the people who read your stories burst into laughter. Your shoes? Not so much sista!

Now, I am not saying you should toss them away never to be seen again but finding a dark spot in the corner of the closet behind the Z Cavarichi jeans wouldn't be considered an injustice. Some things must change! So unless you are planning a trip to Holland in the very near future...the clogs gotta go! The Mary Jane's are bearable at best but the sandals? Just put them in a box with any Florida zip code and let the "beaches" have them!

Get out there and invest in an awesome pair of leopard flats or groovy little kitten heels...OH and speaking of leopard. To whom did the little leopard slides belong? You know, the ones you had on with the very up to the moment low rise jeans and structured white shirt you wore to the football game! Tell me a little more about those babies.

[The Demigod]

Yes. And I love you.

But you know what I've learned in all my years haphazardly dabbling in fashion (it's a requirement to maintain my homo license), it's all in the attitude.

If you WERQ these on a runway ala Naomi Campbell, they are just as good, if not better than Louboutins. So WERQ IT, gurl!

(I can't pull that off, can I?)

[Jane]

For what it's worth....and you know lesbians aren't known for their taste in shoes....the clogs aren't terrible. I imagine pants hide most of them. Unless you wear capris. Then they are a disaster. The MJ's and strappy ones should meet their maker. Or the Salvation Army.

I love Frye, but they're expensive. I've got some White Mountain and Steve Madden clogs that I love, some Rocket Dog sneakers that are comfy, some Bass loafers that will do, and some Frye boots I'll be buried with.

Check out Famous Footwear. Their clearance section sometimes has amazing bargains!

[Robin Larraza]

I feel I must comment. I know and love you, so I feel comfortable being(brutally) honest.

Ewww. Sorry. I am not a huge fan of those, though they do look comfy. I would recommend that you get yourself some Tory Burch ballet flats, or some of the darlings from J crew for running around and lunching with Chris. I like comfort as well as the next gal, but shoes ALWAYS make the outfit. I do like the Frye harness boots or a cute suede cowboy style boot as well. As far as sandals, go for a classic Jack Rogers in a metallic leather or leopard print pony hair. You can't go wrong with your classic wardrobe pieces.

xo Robin

[Kate Coveny Hood]

Shoes are a lot harder than people make them out to be. That whole, "they always fit no matter how much weight you gain" thing... I find that some just don't look right on me. Maybe they just don't suit my legs? Who knows - but not every style is for every person, whether it's due to comfort or they way they look.

I'm not very granola - but I see a few pairs of shoes in there that I would wear. And now that I'm a SAHM, I need more comfortable shoes. I wish I had invested in more flats when we had more money (they aren't my best look - but I may have to settle for comfort now...) I've had to wear my cowboy boots every day now that sandals season is over.

[Middle Aged Woman]

You are way sexier than what those shoes are saying. Keep it up with the clogs and mary janes for everyday wear, but for a night out? You have awesome legs, and I think they would be shown off better with something more delicate in appearance, either flat or heel. Translation: The green ones are borderline our age. The other ones gotta go. And she was right, Frye has some very sexy shoes. They don't often come in wide, though, so I don't have any. Not that I haven't tried.

Hoping you still love me, too!

Clare

[Middle Aged Woman]

Check these out: http://www.zappos.com/product/7528274/color/184651

[Alix]

Define "not bad."

Now listen to me, Missy. Wear your comfortable shoes when you run. When you go to 25th High School Reunions, wear shoes that kill. Trust me on this. The shoes are everything. And the subliminal power the wield can bring strong men to their knees (hence the hubby high-heels).

You're gorgeous and have a killer bod. Don't hide behind clogs anymore! Utah or no Utah.



(PS: And no, they're not thaaaaaaatbad.)

[Stacey]

The problem with comfortable shoes is that they tend not to be sexy, fun, feminine shoes. If you're not into heels, there have to be some great ballet flats out there. A killer pair of shoes can makeover your whole outfit.

[Tristan]

Yes, they are that bad (you know I love you, Chrisy), but then again, this is coming from someone who wears 2/$5 flip flops from Old Navy 90% of the time so consider the source :)

[christy]

Wait - Kate said in her comment that sandal season is over? I'm still living in my flip flops. I have four pairs in different colors - because they're so comfortable. I like all your dansko shoes - because I am a kindred spirit. But a couple of years ago I discovered a better brand of shoes - looks wise - and I'm a total convert. They're not cheap, but not super expensive either: SOFFT. They're OHMYGOD comfortable - even the three inch heels I have. I have brown high wedges, and black. I have red patent leather gladiator sandals, hot pink strappy high heel sandals and bright yellow low sandals. I LOVE these shoes and I bet if you order some (Macy's carries them, but not the whole line, so I order them from sofft.com) you'll love them too. Lemme know if you do!

Super fun to read post! I wish you had shown us the shoes you DID end up wearing though!

[Cheri @ Blog This Mom!]

I spy with my little eye exact Dansko styles that are in my closet.

So, maybe I dress like a grandma who shops at Columbia.

Or the high school mean girls are still mean.

Maybe both.

To each his own. If Betty and Vicki, don't like Dansko shoes, then don't wear them, but what's up with labeling someone who does think they're cute as a grandma or Columbia catalog shopper, like either one of those is bad anyway.

Chris: Rock the Dansko shoes.

Betty & Vicki: Yeah, I know you're going to say you were just being honest. You were being something else, too.

[Deidre]

I adore danskos and have been dreaming about the day when I get my own pair of Dansko Mary Jane's (I currently only have their clogs with a back - i wear them with everything...); so I must support your shoe decisions there!

However, I do find the Dansko sandals to be...clunky.

[jessica bern]

the brown mary janes are adorable. I used to work at Anthroologie and I happen to have a good sense of style so there. Wear them.

I would love to take you shopping. Bummed I'm not there.

[Judy]

I too am trying to break out or a shoe rut....bought a pair of cute and comfy flats, embellished with little metal circles. Ok, so, cute, comfy and THEN! I was at the conference social last weekend and not two but three women in their 20s and 30s complimented me on them! Score! I still wore my aerosoles mary janes on the plane ride home, though. :-)

[Debbi Austin]

Get. Out. Of. Your. Box.lolI have a pair of Eastlands (yeah, remember those?!?!) that are probably almost as old as my oldest son. That I rarely wear in public.You're gorgeous! Show it off!!I'm really hoping you had an inkling of what the responses would be? If not, I hope you know we all still REALLY love you just as you are ... even if you keep wearing these!!!xoxo

[Chris]

Ahhh! You're great! I actually purchased the leopard print kitten heels you saw. I didn't photograph EVERY pair of shoes I own. I'm just having a hard time finding something sturdy, cute, and practical that can handle the wet, slush and rain. It's hard, Robin. It really is... *sniff*

[Chris]

I don't think you can pull it off, Pum'kin. I don't think I can either, but I appreciate the vote of confidence. If you had stayed in Dallas a little longer, we could have shopped together. Damn.

[Chris]

This is worse than I thought. I appreciate your candor, Jane. I've worn the clogs with... shorts! Disaster. Why didn't anyone stop me?!

[Chris]

I have ugly feet and huge calves [which I should have mentioned in my post] so sometimes the pretty little flats and sandals look like a man is wearing them. I need chunky, but cute, shoes. Thank you, Robin.

[Chris]

That was nice, Kate. My legs look like man legs so if I wear shoes that aren't quite right, I look like a transvestite. Thank you. :-)

[Chris]

Of course I still love you [even though you spelled your name wrong, CLAIRE]. I DO wear cuter, sexier shoes when I go out at night. It's the every day, grab-and-go shoes I'm struggling with. Looks like I'll be shoe shopping very soon. Love, Chris

[Chris]

I've tried on some SOFFT shoes, and you're right! I need to hit their website. Thank you, Christy! I'll try to remember to email you a picture of the shoes I wore. One pair was a super cute pair of pointy-toed, leopard pring, kitten heel pumps. The second pair was a strappy sandal I got at Anthropologie - flesh colored leather with a leather flower on the top of the foot - about a three inch heel. They were cute!

[Chris]

Just so you know, Cheri, Vicki loves me like a sister and we all laughed. I took their comments out of context for this post and had fun with it at their, and my, expense. They were NEVER mean girls in high school. Honest! I adore them. :-)

I'm confident rockin' my Danskos or I wouldn't have so many pairs. I am feeling like maybe it's time for an update.

I LOVE your support. I think it's just you and me so far... XOXOXO

[Chris]

WAY CUTE!

[Chris]

I should have mentioned in my original post, my man-like lower legs and feet. I don't have pretty, feminine feet. My calves are HUGE. [I could never wear the Guess jeans that zipped up the calf in high school.] I think ballet flats are adorable, but I look like a cross-dressing man when I wear them. With jeans and pants longer, it's difficult to find a cute shoe with a bit of a heel [not too high] that goes with several outfits. If I had some of all of your pretty feet, ankles and calves, I'd be fiiiine. I love all of your comments!

[Mrs. D]

I am not crazy about the sandals, they do look comfy, but a tad old-ish. The mary-janes are cute! I love them. The clogs are okay, but I personally am not into clogs (I don't like to wear backless shoes), but they aren't badlooking. I am not one to judge fashion though.... I wear tennis shoes nearly every day.

[CarlaDelvex]

There are many things I would confess to in my blog (dribbling while I sleep, dire need for waxing) but I would never, I repeat never confess to wearing ugly shoes.

The shoe-godess would strike me down with a spangly-spiked-satin choo!

Overall actually they're not too bad...although I think the clogs would make an excellent chew toy for some dog. :)

[Rachel Cotterill]

It's hard to judge shoes seeing them piled on the floor rather than on a person (with the rest of the outfit).

They just look like normal shoes to me - nothing special, but not bad, though not my style. (Caveat: I'm British & I know nothing about fashion! Those two facts are unrelated...) I'd always vote for comfort first, though.

[Chris]

I told Chris about some of the comments and he basically said what you just wrote. He pointed out that people can't see the context of the entire outfit. He thinks my shoes [even the ones that aren't high heels] look great with what I wear and how I wear them. I should have just asked him! Thanks, Rachel!

[Ashley Doran]

Note to Self: Do not hire Chrisy Hautem Ross to style a product shot involving shoes.

Ummm, ever.

Yes girl I'm calling you out. (Disclosure: I knew this post was coming and I knew the backstory). That photo is misleading/biased/something. Hell, I could have thrown my (considerable) collection of strappy 4-inch Manolo's on my hall floor (in a heap) and would have probably invited the same reaction.

Here's my rule of thumb. If my shoes are not (purposefully) a predetermined focal point - I make sure something else is. I love my clogs. I've had 'em for years. I just make sure the rest of me doesn't look so..."crunchy."

Conversely, if the killer heels are on, I try to dial it down elsewhere -lest I look like (many) of my suburban neighbors trying to wear the same look at their 16 year old daughter.

DARE: Post some pics of you rocking the clogs, the crocs, the slides, and show some of these Dallas girls how one is supposed to wear them - might just open up a whole new world.

(For Betty: Some day I am going to get a picture of you in an Ed Hardy bejeweled baseball cap - never mind this comfortable shoes debate. It's a coming sister, it's a coming!)

[Ms Pink]

I too like comfortable shoes and I don't know what your friends are talking about I actually like your shoes.

[Robin Larraza]

Chrisy,You have always had a physique to be envied! Nothing could make you look like a man. You do have excellent taste in apparel. I do get the whole "balance it out" method, though. I would take your feet and calves over my boobs and butt any day.

Betty, the three of us must rendevous for a shoe(intervention) shopping extravaganza some day.

[the mama bird diaries]

Hmmm... I've never heard of danskos. I think you deserve a sassy pair of wedge heels to wear to reunions and night's out. That's all I'm going to say.

[Da Goddess]

Clogs with shorts? NEVER! I'm the last person to be giving fashion advice, but even I know that's a no-no.

Chunky shoes with strong calves isn't a good idea. You want something that elongates your legs, not makes them fuller. At least that's the prevailing wisdom.

Now, about those green sandals, I don't see what's wrong with them. I think they're kind of cute. And they look comfortable!

At the end of the day, you're the only one who knows how your feet and back feel and you should wear what you find most comfortable. Screw fashion.

[Lady Fi]

I only ever wear gym shoes or hiking boots or barefeet.. so to me, your collection looks great. Then again, I don't care what other people think I should wear, I wear what I feel comfortable in.

[Chris]

I like that you confess to dribbling in your sleep! I also like spangly-spiked-satin choo's, but my REAL lifestyle [mothering three boys and taking care of domestic life stuff] warrants comfortable, but cute, shoes. It's really very difficult. Sail over the pond and help me! :-)

[Chris]

You are absolutely right! About everything. If I were HIRED to do a product shot, I'd put a little more effort into my work. Honest, Coach!

I DO make sure the rest of me doesn't look too... "crunchy". [Perfect description.] Chris said the same thing.

I don't know about your dare. Maybe... if Betty dons the Ed Hardy cap.

[Chris]

I like the green sandals too. Who cares if the heels are a little orthopedic looking? You're a nurse though. I think a few of the people reading would say, "Well... she WOULD like them."

Believe it or not, I can pull off the clogs with shorts look. It works on my legs somehow. You'll have to trust me. Like the Demigod says, it's all in the attitude and the confidence [which I'm losing with each comment!]. :-)

[Jennifer]

They're not my taste and my mom has similar shoes, that suit her. It's all about the whole package. I don't look good in those style of shoes because the clothes I like wouldn't match. If the shoe fits, wear it. If they're comfortable even better. I have two sets of shoes, comfort and stylish. The stylish I only wear to places I know I'll have a chance to sit and rest my feet. Most of the time I'm in tennis shoes.

If you like them that's all that matters.

[V-Grrrl at Compost Studios]

Dear Chris,

I LOVE your shoes. I think they're awesome. I wear similar shoes and make no apologies. Whenever I venture into heels or "cute" shoes, I feel cobbled, like a horse tethered in a field. I want to move freely and when I can't, it seems the worst kind of repression. Like a fashion ball and chain. I'm not interested in any shoe that requires me to break my stride.

I sold shoes in an upscale shoe store for years and saw women (incl. women in their 20s) with disgusting feet and foot problems. Many had had multiple surgeries. It was crazy.

Chris, you've run three marathons and GONE PLACES on thoses feet of yours. Clearly, you know how to take care of them with quality footwear! Go, Chris, Go! : )

[Chris]

THANK YOU, V-Grrrl! I needed SOMEONE to unabashedly love my shoes, because I still like them too. You're so right... I walk with a purpose in my life and I can't be bothered with "a fashion ball and chain". I'm taking my son to a museum today and I'll be wearing a pair of Danskos. You made my day! :-)

[Da Goddess]

You know, I was thinking, I should have my friend Joni come visit. That's a woman with a serious shoe collection. (As we were chatting last night for about 4 hours, it occurred to me more than once that I should tell her about this post...but darn it! She distracted me with funny videos!)

[Jannie Funster]

I have two pairs of shoes in the summer -- sneakers and 3" wedge sandals.

I have 3 pairs of shoes in the winter. Sneakers, 3" wedge heel boots and 3" wedge heel clogs. Very comfy to me.

If I were taller,like you, I'd probably have the EXACT SAME shoes as you.

I like your casual chic and I think the Mary Janes are so sweet. I'd love to get a pair with a nice wedge heels! Navy blue please.

With all that's been left in these comments, I really want to say, I wonder why people would ever want to change another person's style? It makes me immediately think "what are they unhappy about in their own lives that they neeed focus on one shallow aspect of human existence? Or why are they so uncomfortable with THEMSELVES?" We humans (and supposedly all friends at that,) are foremost beings of heart, soul and constant inner light, not defined by some ridiculously forced idea of fashion -- or whatever. Hairstyle? Type of car driven?

I just don't understand the need to make a remark like "those look like something my grandma would wear." To what end? To make the remarker feel better about herself? To get a laugh? I used to have "friends" like that, but no more. No time for that negative energy.

I've seen you in running shoes pix. I've seen you in heel's at your son's cotillion -- dancing video no less, of the latter. I've read your sweet posts here that exude the personality of the warm caring wonderful person I know you are.

You, Chrissy, are one of the most beautiful people I've never known, inside and out. And I'm so glad we've "met."

Don't go changing to try and please anyone. Well, maybe the heels for the hubby once in a while! Gotta keep those guys happy! ;)

xo

[Jannie Funster]

Don't change a hair for us...not if you care for us...

LOVE your shoes.

[Nikki]

Hmmm. Ummm. I'm going back to our conversation last night where we talked about being comfortable with something no matter how the world looks at you is what counts. If YOU like the shoes and YOU'RE comfortable in them, by all means, WEAR the heck out of them!

Of course this is all coming from a flip-flop wearing, semi-vegetarian, beach-loving, still a tomboy who doesn't own more than 2 pairs of "dressy shoes". Heels hurt my feet, I don't like pain. My Mom had to go through so much to stretch out her achilles tendon from wearing heels with PAJAMAS for God's sake through the 60s and 70s. I never ever saw that woman barefoot until I was in high school!

I say wear your shoes with pride and know that you are unique and loved. We don't have the same taste in shoes and I'm sure there are a lot of things we don't have the same taste in but I love you anyway. Today I'm wearing my "dressy" flip flops. They're brown leather with a silver flower threaded through the thin straps at the top. I'm SO fancy!! Hahahaha

[Gabi With An Eye]

Well I thought I'd demonstrate a little solidarity and confess that I were Dansko clogs EXCLUSIVELY in the winter and summer, spring and fall. I wear them with shorts and socks even! Dansko's are the only shoes that allow me to forget I have huge heel spurs. The pain disappears when I wear Danskos. Of course I rarely wear skirts or dresses to the office anymore. Even when I'm arguing a case in court, I wear my trusty Danskos.