We like to call it a naive charm.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009 Exhibit A
Oldest Boy (11) and Middle Boy (9) were laughing hysterically at something they'd seen on America's Funniest Home Videos. I asked what was so funny.
Finishing each other's sentences, like an old married couple, the boys told me about a video with a man and a woman who were being filmed for some telethon. The boys thought it was at a church. The man and woman were cheerfully soliciting money for a cause. Apparently, the man said, "I'll be your host this evening...", and the woman followed with, "I'll be your whore this evening too..." and continued talking, not realizing what she'd said.
Oldest Boy, laughing heartily said, "And Mom, they were at CHURCH!" Middle Boy howled. This was a real knee-slapper.
"Do you guys know what whore means?"
Again, finishing each other's sentences and clearly of the same mindset, "Yeah. You know, like scary or creepy. She horrified them. Get it? She's a horror."
Exhibit B - Part 1
All three boys shower and bathe in our bathroom, more for efficiency than anything else. Oldest Boy typically showers but occasionally likes to take a bath. Chris was keeping everyone on task. Middle Boy had moved from the wash to the dry cycle, Toddler Child was being coaxed out of the tub, and Oldest Boy was still washing in the same tub. I was in Chris' and my closet tidying things, and I heard the following...
[Loud blowing of nose sound.]
Chris: Hey. Don't do that, Buddy.
Oldest Boy: Mom said it's good to get your nose clean with warm water.
Chris: She meant in the shower. Now all that junk's gonna float around in there.
Oldest Boy: Ohhh.
Chris: I'll get the bucket.
Exhibit B - Part 2
I walked in to help Toddler Child out of the bathtub. I lifted him, placed him on the mat and started the hurried, sometimes too rough, towel dry. "Do you want to go potty in the toilet before we put on your pajamas?"
"No. I peed in the tub." [quick smile to punctuate]
Chris and I find comfort in the fact that, although they might someday be President and Vice President of the Chess Club, or graduates of the Pond's Institute, the boys know how to have a good time...
[They're drinking root beer and sparkling cider on New Year's Eve in our basement. They begged to stay up until midnight (a big deal at Ross Inc.). Toddler Child and I were sleeping, which is why they were partying in the basement - so as not to wake us. They'll be considerate hell-raisers. We're so proud.]
Reader Comments (24)
As for doing stuff in the bath - at least it wasn't brown ones floating up! (Has happened to us on many an occasion...)
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XO
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I remember when we were all young and single and one of my friends said something about hoping that her children would be popular when they were in high school. A much savvier friend then said, "no way! I don't want my kids doing anything that I did. I want them to be nerds with straight As." Pretty smart for a 24 year old....
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Connie - Thanks!
Cheri - I love blowing my nose in the shower too, which is what I thought I had taught Oldest Boy. All three boys have used the bathtub as a toilet as toddlers. Disgusting.
Sherri - Thanks!
Kate Coveny Hood - I agree with your friend, I would just add, I want them to be happy nerds. I think our boys are... happy nerds, that is.
Your "schlong" story's funny! I don't need you-know-who calling people "horrors" and referring to capris as "schlongs". Let's keep this between us. Like a few other things...
Apparently my brother and I used to take baths together when I was a baby and he was 9 or 10 and I pooped in the tub. He won't let me live it down which I find mean since it was before I was potty trained. Just saying.
Too much sharing?
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Judy - I can just hear Andrew and D talking about their schlong's on the playground. (referring to their special pajama pants) I can picture your EXACT expression as you bite your cheeks. Funny!
Corbie - Thanks, Dancin' Machine!
Tysdaddy - Ooooh. I bet that was an interesting one. I'm sure you handled it beautifully.
Bobbi - It grossed me out too.
Tristan - I'm impressed with your quick response. I would have said, "I don't know..." like I did the first time Oldest Boy asked me where my penis was and how babies get here.
Mama Bird - Thank you.
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And darn good-looking boys.
And really really gorgeous pine kitcen cabinets and pink granite countertops.
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Jennifer - Oh, the "fun" disappears sometimes. Believe me!
Tristan - It's a tough one when you don't see it coming.
Jannie - Not a very good photo of them, and the pics are in our basement. No granite down there, but thank you.
Jessica - Yup.
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