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« Puttering | Main | Whatever you call it, it feels real good. »
Monday
Sep152008

Mamaw

My grandmother - Mamaw - turned 91 on August 28th.  She lives in Arizona and it pains me that we don't live closer.  She's well cared for by Dad and Mother, so it's not that I'm needed.  I just miss her.

Dsc_0592

I traveled to Arizona on Thursday to visit her for a few days.  I usually stay with Mamaw in the assisted living apartment where she lives.  It's very nice and comfortable, but she takes so much rest now and is easily confused, I decided to stay at Mom and Dad's this time.

My Papaw died in June of 2007 at the age of 90.  He had Alzheimer's and passed relatively peacefully.  He and Mamaw had lived apart for a few years due to the care he required.  Mamaw visited Papaw faithfully a couple of times a week until he died.  Over the past year when I would ask Mamaw if she missed Papaw she would respond honestly, "No.  Not really."  This visit when I asked her, she seemed to miss him.

Things I want to remember...

Hair and Happy Hour - We went to Mamaw's hair appointment Friday afternoon.  She enjoyed having her hair washed and head scratched.  With the confidence and mood boost a fresh hairdo gives any girl, we walked to the lobby for a piano concert and Happy Hour.  The pianist finished the set with Sentimental Journey, and we all sang God Bless America.  Mamaw's neighbor Lou (87) kept trying to kiss her.  She turned her head each time and told me he was trouble.  Lou told me he wished I was younger so we could "do things together".  I told Lou my husband wouldn't like that.

Dinner with Lou - Friday evening we shared a table at dinner with Lou and a new gal, Kaye.  Lou struggled to play both ends against the middle with Mamaw and Kaye.  He sat between the two ladies and his head went left to right, right to left.  Lou told me one of his grandsons had recently been there per instruction from his father.  The 25-year old grandson said to Lou, "Dad says you need to go to the bank.  After that Dad says I need to take you to get some pants."  Lou said he made it to the bank and got his pants, but he thought it was ironic that the grandson was driving his truck.  Lou's keys had been confiscated recently - something he didn't protest.

Lipstick and a Nap - When I arrived at Mamaw's on Saturday afternoon with beer [she requested a few beers for her refrigerator even though Lou repeatedly said he had plenty and she could come by anytime] she was asleep on her couch, still in her nightgown and robe.  She remembered some of our day together Friday, but needed help to find the memory.  I encouraged her to get ready for dinner - which takes a while - then I stretched out on her couch.  I slept lightly for about an hour as she puttered in and out of her bedroom and office, covered me with a quilt, looked at me, mumbled, "Now what was I doing?" all while carrying her lipstick.  (She doesn't go anywhere without it.)  I enjoyed watching her with one eye while I rested.  I finally got up and encouraged her to put on her lipstick so we could go to dinner.  "Okay Doll!"

Dinner with Gretchen and Louise - We shared a table with Gretchen (90) and Louise (87) on Saturday evening.  Apparently there'd been a "falling out" with these girls a week or two prior, leaving some hurt feelings.  I'm still not clear what happened.  Gretchen very gently and sweetly passed Mamaw something on the table under her hand and said, "I'm glad you're back.  I save these for you every night."  They were the croutons from her salad.  Mamaw looked at me and said, "Gretchen doesn't like croutons, and I love them."  They smiled at one another and held hands a moment. ... Louise was quite chatty through the meal, very nice actually.  I overheard Gretchen complain to Mamaw that Louise monopolizes the conversation every time they have a guest.  Mamaw agreed.

Why I Don't Have Little Girls - After dinner Saturday night, Mamaw and I were making rounds in the lobby, visiting with some residents.  A pretty, petite woman wearing a pink cardigan, using a walker, joined a conversation Mamaw and I were having with four other women.  They were asking me about my three sons.  The woman in the pink cardigan spoke very loudly and cheerfully, "You have no girls?"  No, I said, just the boys.  "You didn't move in bed!" she said.  I raised my eyebrows.  She continued, "If you want girls you need to move a little in bed.  You obviously didn't move."  A bit embarrassed, I said, "My grandmother's standing right here..."  She said, "Whether or not you move in bed has nothing to do with your grandmother Honey."  Oh.  Thank you.

Dsc_0597_2It's never easy saying goodbye to Mamaw.  I feel so loved.  She squeezes me hard, pats my rear, kisses me sincerely and shamelessly on the face, then wipes her red lipstick off my cheeks.  She tells me to be careful and be good, and blows kisses as I drive away - not moving - until she can no longer see me.

Reader Comments (17)

Damn. I wish I could wear red lipstick and look gorgeous.

Oh well. I have a daughter. At least I've got that going for me.
September 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenni
Just when you thought old ladies couldn't throw your game, you get one who tells you how to conceive girls - in front of your grandmother, no less! I would have been hard pressed not to laugh in her face - hey, I moved all over the place, I still have two boys!! You are obviously a more genteel creature than myself.

For what it's worth, I love having just boys, so "Nyahh!" to those with only girls. That's what nieces are for!

(I came by from San Diego Momma's - hi!!)
September 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwe_be_toys
Oh I loved this. All of those characters... I don't know about that Lou...but I guess it sounds like everyone's got his number.
September 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKate
Lovely woman, your grandmother. Please enjoy this time with her all you can. I miss my grandma terribly.

And Lou? Sounds like a pistol!
September 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDa Goddess
Great stories! I think my Dad is going to be Lou!
September 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterConnie @ Young and Relentless
The 'not moving in bed' information would have been helpful about a decade ago. I was worrying about positions and balancing my body's ph...turns out all I had to do was jiggle a little bit? This is why Skylar was called Adrianna and Aiden was called Grace until 18 weeks when an ultrasound confirmed that my little girls had an extra appendage.

And about the Ralph thingy...maybe you could loan Mary out to the neighbors :)
September 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTristan
that damn thief- Mr. TIme. Damn him.

She looks lovely. You are blessed. As is she.
September 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commentervodkamom
Jenni - Me too... Mamaw is gorgeous, and yes "yay you!", you have a daughter. You must move in bed. We have to get you a button to wear so you can advertise. ;)

We Be Toys - Thank you for stopping by - hi to you too! I adore my boys.

Kate - Everyone has Lou's number. He's a skirt chaser though.

DaGoddess - Thank you. She's more than lovely.

Connie - Poor ol' Lou. I hope your Dad has better luck!

Tristan - You know Toddler Child's real name - before we saw his "appendage", we called him Ruby Jane.

VodkaMom - Amen.
September 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercsquaredplus3
She's beautiful.I love that you wrote those memories down. We forget moments/weekends like this too easily.

And I moved a lot, too (even did a handstand), and got two girls, but I think that God just did that to torture my husband with surround-sound PMS.
September 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSan Diego Momma
Sweet Mamaw! Bless her heart! Doesn't she look wonderful. So glad you had a special weekend.
September 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEm
San Diego Momma - Wow. Lucky husband - with a wife who does handstands in bed. Your'e raising the bar for the rest of us!

Em! Hug, kiss, kiss, hug - thanks for the kind comment. See, it wasn't so scary! I wish you could have visited Mamaw with me. She said to say hello to you...
September 16, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercsquaredplus3
My day was just brightened a bit, thanks.
September 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPunk Rock Dad
PRD - You're welcome. You're nice. And cool.
September 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercsquaredplus3
What wonderful memories. My other Grandma (not the one who reads my blog) is 92 and has Alzheimer's. I will get to see her at Christmas and I am so excited.
September 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterALF
Awww, sweet post. My great-grandmother passed away in Feb at the age of 102 (less than one month of being 103). She lived alone until age 99, and would always stand at her door as I was leaving and watch me go down the hallway in her building. She was a character.

Thanks for visiting my blog. I'll be back to read your stuff again. :-)
September 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMrs.D
Such a beautiful lady. Is it just me or are woman of that time just flawless.The account of her going back and forth with lipstick in her hand, makes me think of my mom. If she lives to be that old, she'll be doing the same.Thanks for sharing such sweet moments with you Mamaw. It made my night.
September 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMami Jen
You didn't move in bed! Dear Lord, old ladies are funny with what they come out with.

Love her lipstick, a sign she cares about herself.



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