It was a nasal surgery, NOT a nose job. (Well, maybe a little bit of a nose job.)

I saw my surgeon on Friday.  When I started this blog in May [2008], I was sitting in this chair, typing on this keyboard with a nose cast, several dozen stitches inside the nose, a few on the base of my septum and a couple dozen behind my right ear.  The stitches have been removed and my nose is much better, although a little sore and still too fat.  My ear is freakishly sensitive.  I didn't know before I agreed to the surgery that my ear would basically be removed and reattached to my head [exaggerating, but only a little].

The surgeon said he can't believe how beautiful my nasal anatomy is on the inside, and that due to the complexity of the surgery, swelling might not resolve entirely for 12 months.  That means May of 2009.  No family photos for the Christmas card this year.

I've always had a strong nose with a bulbous tip.  Not my most attractive feature, but it was mine and I'd mostly accepted it.  Mostly.  Two years ago I was convinced the bulbous tip looked much larger than usual.  To make this story short and blog readable, I wasn't imagining it.  Turns out I had a long, fancy name for something like "hair lip" of the nose.  My bulbous tip was growing and it was affecting my breathing.  [Note to my friend T:  Yes T, I was motivated because of aesthetics, but I had a legitimate medical condition.  So there.]

I decided to have the nearly six-hour surgery.  I wanted my nose to look softer, but not alter my basic appearance.  I also wanted to sleep on more than my right side - the only side that allowed me to breathe.

Mother said, "Now you know... you must refer to this as a sinus surgery in front of the boys, or the entire school and neighborhood - the world really - will know you're having a nose job."  She was right.

"Yea.Yea.  You're right.  Good thinking Mom."

She emphasized the importance of not using the words "nose" or "job" ever! while referring to this surgery in front of the boys.  She's so smart, I thought.  But, it wasn't really a sinus surgery...

While visiting the surgeon for pre-op, all of his nurses and surgery coordinator people kept referring to me as the "nasal surgery" patient.  Perfect!

"Boys.  Mom will be having a nasal surgery to help her breathe better next week.  I might look bad, and I'll be in bed a few days, but I'll be just fine, so don't worry.  Any questions?"

Oldest Boys asked, "Will they make that ball on the end of your nose smaller?"

The surgery went fine.  [Reality:  the most painful, nightmarish experience of my life.]  Chris was a very good nurse, and the boys didn't seem phased.  Toddler Child kept saying, "You hurt you nose?  You hurt you ear?"  A large piece of cartilage from my right ear was removed and grafted to my nostrils and septum - a detail that was greatly downplayed during consults.

Someday, when there's no fragility attached to the experience, I might post some photos.  I call the initial post-op pictures the Nick Nolte mug shots.  They're real pretty.

Most people who love me have pacified me with the term "nasal surgery".  Except my friend T.

When Chris' grandparents were here only four weeks after my surgery - T called after the visit.  "So.  Did the grandparents know about your nose job?  How did you hide it?" 

I said, "It was a NASAL SURGERY.  Yes, they knew... and I look fine, no hiding necessary."

T laughed.

I'm going to visit T soon in New York - I can't wait to see him.  T can't wait to see my "nose job".  This Dorothy surrenders.

Comments

[Kate]

Well - I want nasal surgery for even worse reasons.

I do actually get bad sinus infections - and a doctor told me that this is due to a deviated septum that could be corrected with surgery. But I said - no way, too afraid of surgery.

Now I'm obsessed with the idea of corrective surgery since that same doctor pointed out that my nose leans to the left. In over 30 years I never noticed this (although I did know that I have a very definite "good side"). But a line has been crossed. There is no going back - I want a straight nose. I could care less about the sinus infections - I'll suffer to avoid the knife - but having a crooked nose...

Now that I've had a c-section (2 years ago with my twins), I'm thinking that a nose job doesn't sound too bad.

[Connie @ Young and Relentless]

That sounds terribly painful! I'm so glad you can breathe better. You can breathe better right?

[Csquaredplus3]

Kate - I think a deviated septum is less involved to correct. I had a nasal valve reconstruction (basically a rebuild of the entire nose) and I don't tolerate pain meds well. If you're ever serious about it, give me a jingle. We'll talk...

Connie - I can breathe much better, but I think I can now hear from my nose too. Creepy.

[Middle-Aged-Woman]

Your boys made me laugh out loud.

[Robin]

I did have a "nose job", college graduation gift, under the guise "deviated septum"(I believe that was for insurance purposes). I thought it was painful at times as well, but loved the result. I would do it again. The boobs are a different story...

[Corbie]

I'd go back on the boobs too, Robin. I was trying to not be the first one to post a comment so I don't look too much like the obsessed Chrissy fan but now that we are talking boobs, suddenly I'm here :).

[Csquaredplus3]

Claire - Toddler Child made me laugh too. It hurt though.

Robin - Your nose looked great before you had it done - your boobs did too. But I must remind you and everyone again, that I had a NASAL VALVE reconstruction.

Corbbie - You're so boobalicious... and there's one "s" in Chrisy, you love bucket. wink & BIG SMOOCH

[Jenni]

I too had [nasal surgery] right before my freshman year in college. omg Best decision I have ever made. A guy actually told me I had a "perfect nose". No one had EVER said that about my nose. Ever. Now, people tell me "she has your nose" when they see my daughter.

Oops. I'm gonna have some 'splainin to do.

[Sam]

I wonder if i might need to have sinus surgery too?

[Csquaredplus3]

Jenni - Hi. Nice to meet you. Thanks for the comment. Your daughter's lucky not to have to endure the "nose tampons" as my friend Tristan referred to them.

Samantha - Sam, Sam, Sam... you're sinuses are lovely. I'd be happy to give you a blow by blow when we're finally able to have some long-distance coffee talk.

[Robin]

Corbie, I guess I am an obsessed Chrisy fan! I am talking about getting smaller ones all the time.Chrisy, thanks for the schnoz and boobie compliment. However, after nursing a few kids and the sudden weight loss of divorce, they looked like teensy, empty dixie cups. I needed some help, just not as much as I was given.

[Da Goddess]

I've had, what? three sinus surgeries and swore I'd never undergo a nose job for the sake of having a nose job. I did, however, beg and plead with the last surgeon to do a little "shaping" while he was in there supposedly correcting my septum. He was a jerk and the worst of the three experiences, but at least I can (mostly) breathe. I just wish he'd done what I'd asked because I honestly think the restructuring would have supported the rest of his work and the results would have been better, longer lasting.

I'd rather give birth than have surgery on my nose again.

And while I didn't have anything near what you had going on, you can count on me to properly awww and ouch along in sympathy.

Someday I will send you photos of my post-sinus surgery and you can laugh and laugh and laugh. I posted it on the blog, but those archives are pretty much toast and no photos survived in the posts themselves.

[vodkamom]

When I was in high school, my mother said she would give me a nose job for graduation. I was SHOCKED. However, now I wish I had taken her up on it!!

GOod luck- glad it's over...

[Csquaredplus3]

DaGoddess - Did your post-op photos look like Nick Nolte's mug shots too? Would love to see them someday.

Vodkamom - mine was a nasal surgery, not a nose job.