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« Up In Smoke | Main | Jane Devin »
Tuesday
Dec152009

Sheltered

Our recent houseguest, Jane Devin, smokes an occasional cigarette. We maintain a smoke-free environment here at Casa de Ross, but have a special place for our smoking relatives and friends to discreetly burn one. I call it The Smoking Room. It's a small but private porch outside of the walkout basement.

The Smoking Room 

The weekend delivered snow, so the boys spent much of Sunday afternoon building a snowman and snow cave in the backyard. Jane was at Starbucks and I was upstairs when Chris heard simultaneous, frantic knocks at two of our doors—a back door, and a garage door. Oldest Boy [12] was at one, and Middle Boy [10] was at the other.

Chris answered Oldest Boy's knock at the back door first. "Dad! There's cigarettes down by the basement.  They're in a shallow dish."

Chris told Oldest Boy to hold on a moment. He then answered Middle Boy's knock at the garage door. "Dad!  There's a pile of cigarettes. In a dish!"

Jane's full, shallow dish was sitting on a window ledge outside. The boys had to walk down the snowy stairs to the lower porch and must have searched to find it. They couldn't get to Chris or me fast enough.

It was tucked in the far left hand corner of this space.The Smoking Room

Chris explained to each boy that the cigarettes were Ms. Devin's. Oldest Boy wanted to know if it was okay that Ms. Devin smoked. Chris said she was an adult and it was her choice to smoke cigarettes as long as she didn't expose others to secondhand smoke.

When Jane returned from Starbucks, I couldn't wait to tell her that the boys had visited The Smoking Room and discovered her habit. Middle Boy considers himself an artist and writer so I think he was particularly disturbed to know that Ms. Devin smoked. He glanced at her suspiciously for the rest of the afternoon but avoided eye contact, like he'd seen her naked by accident.

Later that evening, Middle Boy was still processing the cigarettes. "I thought it was a joke at first, Mom. Like they were fake. But then? I smelled them, and they were REAL. I know it wasn't good for my lungs, but I had to know. Then I ran and told Dad."

I still haven't educated the boys that the word for a shallow dish that holds cigarettes butts and ashes, is ashtray. I also haven't told Middle Boy that simply sniffing an extinguished cigarette probably won't harm his lungs.

I DID show them the shallow dish we offer to all of our guests who smoke...

Jesus Hates It When You Smoke! 

Reader Comments (25)

Good timing -- I was just checking in to catch up on your blog!I remember the summer after 4th grade we were at the Cape for a couple of weeks and my dad's friend joined us. For some reason we all had a bit of hero-worship going on with him...and then we SAW HIM SMOKING. I had the same reaction as Middle Boy -- I couldn't make eye contact with him for the rest of the week. Nothing like a disillusioned 10-year-old!
December 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy
Too funny Chris! And that ashtray is hysterical! Great post, and thanks for turning us on to Jane Devin - I'm enjoying reading her blog when I have time - love those links you provided in the previous post!
December 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchristy
This is so very, very sweet! I remember when I discovered my mother smoked. What a huge let down.
December 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteranna see
And there's a little Jesus in all of us. :-)

Beautiful post, Chris.
December 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCheri @ Blog This Mom!
I love the thought of the internal conflict within the person smoking, when they look down at that plate, and decide to put their butt there.
December 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEllie Belen
ROFL!!! That is too funny! Better sheltered than overexposed I guess. I grew up knowing what an ashtray was and what the difference was between 100s and regulars and lights. And then I smoked for 7 years. Go figure.
December 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. D
Chris,

Give it a few more years...Jacob told me that the pinenut guy (a different story) had "roach" written on his shoe...he said like cockroach, only just roach. So I told him what that might be referring to...David said, "Wow, Mom...makes me wonder what else you know". My sisters told him not to wonder...Moms know EVERYTHING!
December 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMulva
Me again. I shared this with my husband last night - and he got a real kick out of it too! Loved it!
December 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchristy
And that's how you know you live in Utah. ... Love that ashtray, btw. ... I had the same reaction your boy did to Jane after I found out Obama smoked.
December 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterx
The Ashtray is awesome.

I still get disillusioned when I see anyone light up. I'm all "people realllly do that?"
December 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeidre
Wonderful post. You have GOT to tell me where I can get one of those ashtrays.

I mean: could you please tell me where to get one of those ashtrays? PLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEEEEEEEEASE!
December 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHusband-Styro
Please? Send me that ashtray . . .
December 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertysdaddy
LMAO, that ashtray, oops, I mean shallow dish is hilarious.
December 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather, Mouthy Housewife
Oh my goodness. And I didn't think it was possible to love you any more than I already did.

Love that they don't know the word for ASHTRAY!
December 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterConnie Weiss
Wow, your kids are ahead of mine! Just last week my 6yr old saw a woman on the sidewalk smoking and as we drove by exclaimed, "look Dad, that woman has a 'smoker' in her mouth" - my 4yr old nodded knowingly. I can't wait to tell them about the dish. lol. Funny stuff Chris. Happy Holidays.
December 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly
I tried to comment on your previous post about Jane's visit, but I was on my phone & couldn't make it work - sounded like a fun time, and I love this story, too!
December 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel Cotterill
Oh, how I love that ashtray! My kids would react in the same way. If they see someone they like smoking, they always burst out, 'Don't they know that smoking can kill them?'
December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLady Fi
He glanced at her suspiciously for the rest of the afternoon but avoided eye contact, like he'd seen her naked by accident. LOL. That's priceless!

I LOVE the "shallow dish" exclamation and the innocence of not knowing the word ash tray. And speaking of ash trays.... your Jesus number cracks me up!! I wish I had one like that.
December 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlix
Isn't it cool that our kids react that way to smokes. I had probably inhaled a couple dozen packs of second hand smoke by the time I was 5. No surprises or shock for me.

My sister still smokes. Never took with me. I brainwash my boys as often as I can about the evils of smoking. I hope it takes.
December 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermichael.offworld
that is BRILLIANT!! I love it. Of course being Jewish I would just keep smoking away. Now if you had a picture of Moses there....
December 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjessica
Love that shallow dish. Hilarious.
December 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate Coveny Hood
Funny ashtray!!

Kelly says she feels "so sad" for smokers when she spots them outside office buildings and such. I'm certainly with her on that.

Your backyard is sooo cute!!
December 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJannie Funster
I've never smoked and considering the era and socio-economic group I grew up in, this is kind of surprising.

In high school, I took up distance running and yes, smoking and running were incompatible. But...that said...I think I could easily have been a smoker. On some deep level, it's always attracted me--like a dangerous boyfriend.

Anyway, I can easily understand why Jane smokes, and when she comes to visit, maybe I'll join her for a covert ciggy on the deck. : )
January 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterV-Grrrl @ Compost Studios
That ashtray is hilarious!
January 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthe mama bird diaries
Thanks for the great info! I really appreciate you taking the time to put this together.

My wife and I had the exact same problem with our garage door last summer. What a pain it was to replace those components! But it was even much more annoying not having a working garage door, so after putting it off for awhile I finally went towards the hardware store to obtain new parts. I've never had to repair one prior to but it turns out that it is fairly straightforward to fix. And the components are readily obtainable at most hardware stores or you can pick them up cheaply on the internet too. I think I only spend maybe 2 hours tops functioning on that garage door. I could probably do it in half the time now that I know what I'm doing.

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