Eddie Haskell lives here now.

Middle Boy got in trouble last night.  The issue was attitude and I addressed it with him before Chris got home.  That makes it sound like I had a, "Now son..." conversation.  It was more like I was dying to get my hands on him, but knew I shouldn't touch him, because I might touch him too hard.  So I spoke loudly, my face very close to his face.  You know, so he could read my lips if he wasn't hearing me clearly.

I punctuated the conversation with the humiliating Mom-Chest-Poke move.  Before sending him to his room to think about what we'd discussed, I said, "DO [poke] YOU [poke] UNDERSTAND [poke] ME [poke]?!  [Poke, poke, poke - just because.]  He did.

Chris got home, talked to him again and didn't poke him.  We both hugged him and helped him lick his wounds a bit without removing the new expectation.  He was sorry for what had happened and was smiling and in good spirits before dinner.

Eddie Haskell Appearance #1

Middle Boy:  Can I help you Mom?

Me:  Sure.  Would you like to set the table?

Middle Boy:  Yes, please!

Me:  You don't have to answer "Yes, please," Honey.

Middle Boy:  Sorry.

Me:  You don't have to be sorry.

Middle Boy:  Okay. [smiling]

I had cooked a roast in the Crock-Pot.  I threw in a few diced onions, carrots, roasted garlic, a few other spices, and two cups of red wine.  It simmered all day and tasted good, but wine was definitely flavoring the meat.

Chris complimented the meal and asked how I had prepared it.  I told him.  Middle Boy looked concerned.  I explained that it didn't taste exactly like wine and the heat burns off the alcohol.  Try it, I said, you'll like it.  [He'd only eaten his potatoes up to this point.]

He took a bite.  His eyes watered a little and his nostrils flared.

Eddie Haskell Appearance #2

Me:  What do you think?

Middle Boy:  Well [smiling and blinking], the bad taste is 80% gone.

Me:  So it only tastes 20% bad?

Middle Boy:  Yes.

Me:  Would you like a hot dog?

Middle Boy:  Yes, please. [smiling]

As we were clearing the table, I noticed the boys need haircuts.  I cut their hair typically before a shower or bath.  They hate it.  Not having short hair, but the process, whether I do it or someone else does.  It's like flossing to them, or putting gas in the car for me.  Needs to be done, but how about later?  I understand.

Eddie Haskell Appearance #3

Me:  You guys need a haircut.  Want to get it over with tonight?

Oldest Boy: [silent]

Middle Boy:  [smiling and blinking] If you don't mind, I'd rather not.  I was unsuspected.

Me:  Oh.  Okay.  I'll give you more of a head's-up in the future.

Middle Boy: [cheerfully] Thank you, Mom!  I'll go take a bath now.  Toddler Child, would you like to join me?

Comments

[Pam Dahlkamp]

You should be a writer! You have such great voice... crack me up!!!Reminds me of so many conversations with my youngest child... amazing she lived to see adulthood!!!

[vodkamom]

YOu better buckle up.

[vodkamom]

I'll send over a bottle of vodka. Sounds like you might be needing it!!

[February 6, 2009 |]

Thanks. Diet Coke through the nose on that one.

Recent blog post: I write, therefore I am

[Tristan]

I have a nasty habit of wagging my finger at my boys as I am reprimanding them. And I'm always completely offended when they do the same to me :) And ever since we started karate I get the 'yes, mom' response too, but only after I explained, then asked nicely then demanded they do not say 'yes, mam.'

[February 6, 2009 |]

What did he do, take your Snuggie? Gosh.

I gotta remember the Mom-Chest-Poke move for later. And maybe I could modify it a bit and do a Wife-Chest-Poke move.

Recent blog post: Blogthis Didnot Has Arrived!

[The Floydster]

I bet whatever he did to piss you off won't happen again!

[February 6, 2009 |]

But the Eddie Haskell doesn't linger long at my house, how about yours?

Recent blog post: I am a mother - feel my guilt

[February 6, 2009 |]

It DOES sound like ole unctuous Eddie Haskell! Watch out girl,those middle ones are always the best at working the parental units - I should know!On a different note, I'm more of a finger shaker, but digits are always involved.Kids - is it 5 o'clock yet?

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[February 7, 2009 |]

Ugh, I was victim to that poking many times. My Mom took it all one step further by not only cutting my hair herself, but by strapping that pink "hair" tape crookedly across my forehead and cutting my bangs completely unevenly for the first 9 years of my life. Maybe you should do that to your Eddie Haskell? A little pink tape, crooked haircut AND some chest pokes. That'll teach him! ;)

PS: I've missed out on your last two posts because I expected them to appear on FB. I'm always sad when I'm the 109th person to comment so when one of your other posts appeared and I was 4th in commenting, I felt as though I won an award. Now, I've missed two posts so I feel as though my award was taken away and given to someone else. It's like I'm the Milli Vanilli of the blogging world.

Recent blog post: Real Life Snippet #9

[February 7, 2009 |]

Sounds like you need a break!

I soooooo do that "getting the face close to theirs and speaking very clearly while poking the chest" move.

Very effective.

Recent blog post: Totally Random Post For Like The 541st Time

[February 7, 2009 |]

That's pretty cute... And I'm impressed about the hair cutting. I have no idea how to that and fear the day my husband goes out and buys clippers (since chidlren's haircuts is just another expense we could cut if we knew how to do it ourselves.)

Recent blog post: Random Guest Post from Chris Hood

[February 7, 2009 |]

This cracked me up. Haven't done the chest poking move yet, but very occasionally the shout in your face one. (Not too often though as it scares the little ones too much.)

Love the way Middle Child is sooooo polite! (What does he want?)

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[Chris]

Pam - Thanks!

Vodka Mom - Actually it's Toddler Child who's going to require me to buckle-up!

Ms. Maxwell - Oooooh. I hate when that happens.

Tristan - Our boys have never finger wagged, or pointed at us. I feel badly I did the Mom-Chest-Poke move. Guilt.

Cheri - No, but I'm sure he wanted to! (I LOVE the blue Snuggie. It's everything a girl's always dreamed of... Thanks you!)

Anne - I don't know about that, but I hope you're right.

Debbie - Nope. He'll be gone soon.

We Be Toys - I'm still feeling guilty for the poking part. I was so mad though, it was either that or a finger flick to the head.

Sherri - You crack me up. Milli Vanilli? You're Masta Disasta! My mom poked me in the chest too - I need to break the cycle! Mom also used pink hair tape on her own hair - I don't remember her using it on mine. I've seen a picture of you and your crooked bangs. You were precious!

Mama Dawg - Thank goodness. Someone else uses the "parenting by humiliation" style of parenting on occasion too. I feel much better.

Kate Coveny Hood - It's really not that difficult Kate. Watch a video - you could do it!

Lady Fi - You're a good mother. I don't like to frighten my kids either. In all seriousness, they're great kids. (Except Toddler Child - he's not civilized yet.)

[February 8, 2009 |]

Will you YouTube your mom-chest-poke move for me? I try it all the time and it doesn't work as directed.

I'll be standing by...







Recent blog post: Funky Town

[February 8, 2009 |]

I love those days (the aftermath when they're really trying, not the bad attitude). Actually, they're more like minutes, but still, quite lovely, especially when it happens in front of strangers who don't know any better.

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[jessica bern]

I know the feeling. It's hard to not to just want to go umph!!! and do something physical but I won't, never.

If Phoebe got that polite I'm not sure what I would do, it would be too weird. LOL

[Chris]

Deb - I'm afraid I'll get arrested if I YouTube that move. We have to ask Cheri at Blog This Mom first.

Tinsenpup - I know. They're all spit-cleaned. It's great!

Jessica - You're a good mom.