On Turning 44
Saturday, June 5, 2010 It's my birthday today. I had a nice trail run this morning, the house was festively decorated when I returned, Chris offered to chaperon the four-year-old at a birthday party for me this afternoon [the best gift EVER], while the older boys and I shopped at REI and a running store. It's been a good day.
[Mom, Dad and me on my 1st birthday. 1967]
In my 44th year, I lost my grandmother, completed the Triple Trail Challenge, attended my 25th high school reunion, celebrated my 20th wedding anniversary, tweaked some relationships, felt what it's like to be bullied as an adult, had pneumonia for the first time in my life, and am reminded of the importance of living in the moment, thanks to my friend Em.
[Mom and me on my 1st birthday. 1967]
In the past 12 months I've learned...
... to trust my instincts [more than I already did] and not ignore multiple red flags that flutter and shake right in front of my face.
... closure and peace is best achieved privately.
... bullying feels like someone is squeezing the back of your neck with sharp, bony fingers and forcing you to walk down a path, not of your choosing, while you whimper.
... if someone's not well-liked, there's usually a good reason for it. Life's not a popularity contest, but there's a difference between having a funny walk, and walking around while swinging a stick.
... relationships, both old and new, family members and non-family members, continue to intrigue me. The cream consistently rises to the top.
... that my handsome husband is okay being the lust of my life versus the love of my life. How frickin awesome is that? I think that makes him the love of my life, for sure.
... I have no real problems and am one hell of a lucky woman.
[My second birthday. 1968]
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My friend, Em, is the mother to a sweet, seven-year-old boy. He was diagnosed with brain cancer in early February. his treasured family is battling the disease with strength, courage, determination, and the knowledge that they will WIN the fight. Please join Chris, the boys and me in sending healing thoughts, prayers, and an abundance of good juju to Em, her husband and their son, Super T. She's been telling me to live in the moment, enjoy the simple gifts each day offers, and smile and laugh as much as possible. She's preachin' good, people. Let's listen to her!
Reader Comments (30)
Your "lessons learned" are very familiar to me. They've been woven into the last few years of my life too. The bullying? GAH! I had a moment of epiphany when I recognized that someone's loud, demeaning, manipulative behavior was nothing more than adult bullying. It was a true revelation, to see it for what it was.
And yes, relationships are everything--or nothing as it sometimes turns out. The best ones grow and ripen and bloom in all different seasons. The other ones either wither or are revealed to be stunted and not healthy, two-way relationships at all.
You've had a rich year in milestones and experiences. I hope 2010 is The Year of the Book for you and that you continue to enjoy your family and blaze new (long!) trails.
As for your friends--I'll pray. I cannot imagine a heavier burden to carry, a more painful thing to witness. Without even knowing them, my eyes are filled with tears...
And of course...I'm sending positive vibes to your friends and praying for them all.
I'm running Triple Trail Challenge again this year and I love your "The Year of the Book" slogan. I sure hope so.
Thank you for praying for Em and family. Em also happens to be just under three years out from her own ovarian cancer diagnosis. Truly unbelievable.
Wise words.
Love,Claire
Love, love to you today and always. And love and prayers for your friends and their son.
Mulva
My heart goes out to your friend and her family. I'll send them lots of good juju.
I liked how you listed what you've learned. I never stop learning new things about relationships. I'm very cautious of people which is one reason it takes me a long time to trust and care for new people. But once they've come in, they're in close to my heart.
:)
Praying for Em and Fam.
Love the post - prayers going out to Em and Family.
Happy, happy birthday!
I feel terrible that I missed your birthday but fear not...I'm going to make it up to you.
Love,
Connie
Prayers for Super T
and my thoughts are with your dear friend Em and her family
And thoughts and strong prayers for your friend and her son.
Thanks for your visit to my blog.
And your mom has always been stylish.
Yay, on the lust of your life, I've got that going on too and it's a fine fine thing.
So so sad to hear about Em's dear little boy. So many thoughts, and prayers for them.
Happy birthday, dear lady. 44 is the new 34 (but you look 31.)
xoxo
Love your description of bullying. It is exactly like that.
But better? The "lust of your life" comment.
Have a wonderful 44th year.
Praying for Em...