tumblr page counter
HOME about press book archives+categories contact Chrisy Ross on twitter Chrisy Ross on facebook subscribe by RSS subscribe by email
buy the book
To Mormons, With Love
buy the book
buy now buy now buy now
buy the ebook
iBook Kindle Nook
Chrisy Ross on twitter
« Large Like Jabba The Hutt | Main | Be Cool »
Saturday
Jun052010

On Turning 44

It's my birthday today. I had a nice trail run this morning, the house was festively decorated when I returned, Chris offered to chaperon the four-year-old at a birthday party for me this afternoon [the best gift EVER], while the older boys and I shopped at REI and a running store. It's been a good day.

[Mom, Dad and me on my 1st birthday. 1967]

IMG_0004 

In my 44th year, I lost my grandmother, completed the Triple Trail Challenge, attended my 25th high school reunion, celebrated my 20th wedding anniversary, tweaked some relationships, felt what it's like to be bullied as an adult, had pneumonia for the first time in my life, and am reminded of the importance of living in the moment, thanks to my friend Em.

[Mom and me on my 1st birthday. 1967]

IMG_0003

In the past 12 months I've learned...

... to trust my instincts [more than I already did] and not ignore multiple red flags that flutter and shake right in front of my face.

... closure and peace is best achieved privately.

... bullying feels like someone is squeezing the back of your neck with sharp, bony fingers and forcing you to walk down a path, not of your choosing, while you whimper.

... if someone's not well-liked, there's usually a good reason for it.  Life's not a popularity contest, but there's a difference between having a funny walk, and walking around while swinging a stick.

... relationships, both old and new, family members and non-family members, continue to intrigue me.  The cream consistently rises to the top.

... that my handsome husband is okay being the lust of my life versus the love of my life.  How frickin awesome is that?  I think that makes him the love of my life, for sure.

... I have no real problems and am one hell of a lucky woman.

[My second birthday. 1968]

IMG_0005

**********

My friend, Em, is the mother to a sweet, seven-year-old boy.  He was diagnosed with brain cancer in early February.  his treasured family is battling the disease with strength, courage, determination, and the knowledge that they will WIN the fight. Please join Chris, the boys and me in sending healing thoughts, prayers, and an abundance of good juju to Em, her husband and their son, Super T. She's been telling me to live in the moment, enjoy the simple gifts each day offers, and smile and laugh as much as possible. She's preachin' good, people. Let's listen to her!

Reader Comments (30)

Many prayers and healing thoughts to Em and her family. Makes a person stop and think. We are so lucky and we should remember that more often.
June 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuzy VerMeer
Happy, happy birthday my dear friend!!
June 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMickie
Happy Birthday. Sending Em and her family positive thoughts from Seattle!
June 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAll Adither
Shopping at REI---oooooh. That's the kind of shopping I like (and art supply places).

Your "lessons learned" are very familiar to me. They've been woven into the last few years of my life too. The bullying? GAH! I had a moment of epiphany when I recognized that someone's loud, demeaning, manipulative behavior was nothing more than adult bullying. It was a true revelation, to see it for what it was.

And yes, relationships are everything--or nothing as it sometimes turns out. The best ones grow and ripen and bloom in all different seasons. The other ones either wither or are revealed to be stunted and not healthy, two-way relationships at all.

You've had a rich year in milestones and experiences. I hope 2010 is The Year of the Book for you and that you continue to enjoy your family and blaze new (long!) trails.

As for your friends--I'll pray. I cannot imagine a heavier burden to carry, a more painful thing to witness. Without even knowing them, my eyes are filled with tears...



Thank you, Suzy. Well said. xo
June 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChris
Thanks, Mickie!
June 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChris
Happy Birthday Chrisy! I hope your day is just fabulous - just like you! I love those old school photos - reminds me that I need to scan some in of my own! Have a wonderful day - GO WILD!!!

And of course...I'm sending positive vibes to your friends and praying for them all.



June 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterchristy
Thank you, Angie. I know Em and her family feel every single one!
June 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChris
After my bullying experience, it still took me a while to realize what had happened, and how disturbing and frightening it is when an adult is capable of "social terrorism". No matter how still I tried to lie in this person's pond, avoiding all ripples, she continued to come at me. It was terrible.

I'm running Triple Trail Challenge again this year and I love your "The Year of the Book" slogan. I sure hope so.

Thank you for praying for Em and family. Em also happens to be just under three years out from her own ovarian cancer diagnosis. Truly unbelievable.
June 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChris
I love old photos. I'm a sucker for nostalgia. Thanks for your kind comment and sending good things Em's way. xo
June 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChris
Happy Birthday, dear friend! So kind of you to think of your friend's troubles on your day. Also?"there's a difference between having a funny walk, and walking around while swinging a stick"

Wise words.

Love,Claire
June 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClaire!
Happy Birthday!! Sending warm thoughts your way and thinking about Em and her family.... Live for the moment for sure, and every moment is GOOD! xoxoxo
June 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpam
Happy Birthday, Partner! I'm in love, too - just hadn't taken the time to let you know. I wish you all the best this year - I'm sure life will just keep throwing those experiences at you - and you will just keep handling them with grace and aplomb!!! I love the little birthday hat (and your Dad's shorts). I think he may be related to Jeff's Dad.

Love, love to you today and always. And love and prayers for your friends and their son.

Mulva
June 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarie
Happy belated birthday! Sounds like you've learnt a lot - both good and bad, all part of life. I guess it matters more not what you learn, but what you do with it.
June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLady Fi
OH, and what a cutie pie you were as a young kid! :-)
June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLady Fi
Happy birthday! It's nice to look back at the past year and know you've done a lot of living. Lessons learned are good too - though maybe not that much fun at the time...

My heart goes out to your friend and her family. I'll send them lots of good juju.
June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKate Coveny Hood
Happy Birthday Chris! I hope your year will be filled with joy and health. I'm keeping your friend in my thoughts. That's a such a hard thing to fight through.

I liked how you listed what you've learned. I never stop learning new things about relationships. I'm very cautious of people which is one reason it takes me a long time to trust and care for new people. But once they've come in, they're in close to my heart.

:)
June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca
Happy Birthday! May it be a great year. I am so glad that you have been able to process and reflect on the lessons of the past year. I am going through some interesting friendship changes right now and am still in the thick of it. I think there will be some lessons from it all.

Praying for Em and Fam.
June 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteranna see
Ah, man...sorry I missed your bday. I'm glad it was happy (your blog has convinced me it was) and I hope this next year is even better than the last.

Love the post - prayers going out to Em and Family.
June 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCorbie
Happy, happy birthday dear Chrisy! I'm so honored that I got to be a part of your journey. Here it is, your birthday post, and your wish is for someone else to receive gifts. You are an amazing woman. My thoughts and prayers are with your friend Em and her family.

Happy, happy birthday!
Dear Chrisy,

I feel terrible that I missed your birthday but fear not...I'm going to make it up to you.

Love,

Connie

Prayers for Super T
June 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterConnie weiss
Oh Chrisy - sorry that I missed your birthday - so a belated wish for you that this year ahead is full of joy and wonder and love ...

and my thoughts are with your dear friend Em and her family
June 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermary
I love what you said about your husband being okay with being the lust of your life :) too cute.

And thoughts and strong prayers for your friend and her son.

Thanks for your visit to my blog.
June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterC...
Look at you when you were TWO!! Toddler boy, smaller and female. Sweet, sweet, sweet.

And your mom has always been stylish.

Yay, on the lust of your life, I've got that going on too and it's a fine fine thing.

So so sad to hear about Em's dear little boy. So many thoughts, and prayers for them.

Happy birthday, dear lady. 44 is the new 34 (but you look 31.)

xoxo
June 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJannie Funster
I hate that I missed wishing you a happy birthday ON your birthday, but it does sound like it was a fabulous day.

Love your description of bullying. It is exactly like that.

But better? The "lust of your life" comment.

Have a wonderful 44th year.

Praying for Em...
June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSan Diego Momma
Happy happy Chris.
June 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermichael.offworld
Happy very belated Birthday, Chris. And I'm sending happy thoughts to Em.
June 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaptain Dumbass
Happy Belated Birthday Chris!
June 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDeidre
Happy belated birthday, lady! Definitely sending positive energy to Em, and heeding her advice. ... Oh, and bullies schmullies. I hope you kicked them to the curb. If not, next time I'm in Utah I'll do it for you. :)
June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterX
I am more than a month late to the party, but I want to add my happy wishes to the rest. By the sounds of this post, I'd say you're on your way to a very good year ahead!
July 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>