Confidential To Supermodel

Dear Supermodel,

I miss you. 

Training isn't the same without you.  I've muddled through most of the workouts, but the solo 16- and 18-mile trail runs were tough.  You weren't there for me when I saw the snakes.  Two of them.  I miss how you let me scream, jump behind you and push you sacrificially towards danger.

I miss how you hold my hydration belt so I can go to the bathroom... and I miss holding yours.

I miss our conversations that go from light to intense and everywhere in between.  And when we end a long run with scribble marks over our heads and curt goodbyes, one of us always calls the other later that day to share a new recipe, borrow an ingredient, or to see how the other guy is feeling.

I try to meet new girls on the trail.  They're either too gritty or too pretty.  I know you know what I mean.  The gritty girls don't smile at me; it's all business.  They run solo, but I can tell they prefer it that way. 

The pretty girls run in elite packs.  I can smell them coming, all flowery and clean.  They have silky hair, spaghetti-strap cami tops, their boobs don't move, and I bet they shave their legs every day.  They smile and hop off the trail, yielding to me with gorgeous white grins.  I feel their pity.  They know I'm not a gritty girl, but they also know I can't hang with their pretty set.  It's obvious I don't shower before a run, and... the boobs.

I've seen a few trail runners like us -- in between gritty and pretty -- but they're already paired off.  They look at me sympathetically as if to say, Don't worry.  You'll find someone.  Like you.  Like us.

I get that you're tired of running.  I understand the desire to broaden your workout routines and connect with other friends, although it stings a little when I see your new training partner drive by my house with you in the car.  She's friendly, fit, pretty, speaks Portuguese and is good with hair.  I'm sure the Boot Camp you attend with her is very exciting!  I was sorry to hear about her misfortune on the hike the two of you enjoyed... with several other people.  I'm glad she's feeling better, but for the record, you've never had to call Search And Rescue for me.  Eleven rescuers?  Just sayin'.

My first race is this weekend.  It should be our race.  I'll drive to Park City, Saturday morning... alone.  I miss trying to convince you that we need to be there early, and stressing about your inability to get to bed at a reasonable hour.

I'll think of you, Supermodel.  I might have to "love the one I'm with" once in a while, but I'll never stop loving you.

Yours,

Chris

Comments

[Rebecca]

I love your posts. They're so honest, funny and heartfelt. But the best part is that your writing brings you in so easily. You make reading enjoyable and intimate.

[Jennifer]

It's hard when friends evolve into something different. It can be good in new ways, but it's hard not to miss what was. Here's to finding a new running partner soon. Someone gritty-pretty. :)

[Rebecca]

And one more thing...what a lovely way to express your feeling for your friend. The connection between women is often underestimated and undervalued but it's so important and beautiful.

[christy]

Oh this made me tear up Chrisy! I so wish I lived near you AND could keep up with you - I would be your pretty/gritty partner in a heartbeat! A heartbeat, you hear me?! I'd hold your belt (even tho I have no idea what it is) and scream twice as loud as you at snakes. We'd have fun together, I know it. In the meantime though, I hope she comes back to you, or you find someone else worthy...fabulously written post!

[pam]

I loved this post (Do I say that every time? It's always true!). It made me ache for you. If I wasn't the fat and happy middle child, I'd be your partner... I can scream with the best of them! xoxo

[Mary]

If I lived there I wouldn't run with you. It is not my thing.

But my goodness I would cheer you on as loudly as possible!

x

[Chris]

Would you let me sneak a cig with you? After the race is over and while we're enjoying wine? Thank you, Mary. x

[Chris]

No, you don't say that every time. But, thank you. You made me laugh with the "fat and happy middle child" description. Believe it or not, I find my "fat and happy" place a few times a year. I'll be finding it right after the last event, and I'll try to drag Supermodel along with me on that ride, too! I miss you, Pam...

[Chris]

I'm glad you made this comment, Rebecca, because that's the point of this post. Thank you, thank you! xx

[Chris]

Oh, she'll come back to me... [She never really left me, she's just an amazingly busy woman that STILL manages to take care of herself.] You actually would totally qualify as the perfect pretty/gritty, screaming, spunky, laughing, crying partner. I think even Supermodel would approve! xo

[Chris]

It's still good, and I'm wooing her in other ways... like shopping and lunch out! So great to see you, PRETTY Jennifer. xo Thank you.

[Suzy VerMeer]

Chris,

I am neither pretty nor gritty. I don't like to run but I would probably want catch the snake and try to convince you it was cute. However, I love that you push yourself to do this. Good luck Saturday!!

[Cheri @ Blog This Mom!]

I will fly to Park City, rent a luxury automobile, and drive along side of you during the race cheering you on. OKAY! I know k.n.o.w. KNOW that Supermodel is very special and cannot be replaced that easily, so I will throw in a post-race deluxe pedicure and a foot massage (done by a professional, of course.) Also, I will join you for the deluxe pedicure and foot massage because driving a luxury automobile can create tired or even calloused feet sometimes. I'm pretty sure I can negotiate a 10% for my pedicure since I'm missing one toenail.

But seriously? Good luck with your race this weekend. Love you! XO

[pam]

miss you, too... so so busy! Opening day got pushed back a week (thank God!!!) b/c the building's not quite finished, but if I don't get in my classroom soon, I might just have a nervous breakdown!! :I xoxo

[Captain Dumbass]

Aw, that really sucks. I'd come run with you if I lived anywhere near Utah. But then, I'd probably die somewhere on the trail and you'd have to leave me for the coyotes.

[Connie @ Young and Relentless]

Supermodel....Come Back!

I hope you did well in your race.

Every time I read your running posts....I want to run.

[Lady Fi]

Oh, so sad and yet such a lovely post too.

[Jannie Funster]

You are just such an awesome blogger, woman, human being.

And funny! Did I mention funny?

I guess I'm in between gritty and pretty too, and I do 18 miles -- but, um, over the course of 6 days. :)

And I'm a loner on the trail, but all about buddies on the blog -- like wonderful you.

xo

[Kate Coveny Hood]

Oh! You miss your workout wife... Even though you parted on amicable terms - it still stings. I've never had workout partners (or experienced any level close to the workouts you do... But I still feel bad. Sounds lonely. Maybe you can find someone new on match.com or craig's list? Scratch that - those people are only looking for flings. You need a workout partner who's looking for commitment. If I lived near you (and was in the least bit athletic), I'd want to be your partner.

[tysdaddy]

This leaves me breathless. And it's more than the thought of running.

I have had friends in the past. Good friends. Ones you could call at any hour and just hang with. Do whatever with. And then, one day, it just slips into something else and the closeness and availability and candor is brushed away like so many ashes.

Sad . . .

[michael.offworld]

Yeah, this makes me sad too. I could write a letter like this to a few old friends.