We like to call it a naive charm.

Exhibit A
Oldest Boy (11) and Middle Boy (9) were laughing hysterically at something they'd seen on America's Funniest Home Videos.  I asked what was so funny.

Finishing each other's sentences, like an old married couple, the boys told me about a video with a man and a woman who were being filmed for some telethon.  The boys thought it was at a church.  The man and woman were cheerfully soliciting money for a cause.  Apparently, the man said, "I'll be your host this evening...", and the woman followed with, "I'll be your whore this evening too..." and continued talking, not realizing what she'd said.

Oldest Boy, laughing heartily said, "And Mom, they were at CHURCH!"  Middle Boy howled.  This was a real knee-slapper.

"Do you guys know what whore means?"

Again, finishing each other's sentences and clearly of the same mindset, "Yeah.  You know, like scary or creepy.  She horrified them.  Get it?  She's a horror."

Exhibit B - Part 1
All three boys shower and bathe in our bathroom, more for efficiency than anything else.  Oldest Boy typically showers but occasionally likes to take a bath.  Chris was keeping everyone on task.  Middle Boy had moved from the wash to the dry cycle, Toddler Child was being coaxed out of the tub, and Oldest Boy was still washing in the same tub.  I was in Chris' and my closet tidying things, and I heard the following...

[Loud blowing of nose sound.]

Chris:  Hey.  Don't do that, Buddy.

Oldest Boy:  Mom said it's good to get your nose clean with warm water.

Chris:  She meant in the shower.  Now all that junk's gonna float around in there.

Oldest Boy:  Ohhh.

Chris:  I'll get the bucket.

Exhibit B - Part 2
I walked in to help Toddler Child out of the bathtub.  I lifted him, placed him on the mat and started the hurried, sometimes too rough, towel dry.  "Do you want to go potty in the toilet before we put on your pajamas?"

"No.  I peed in the tub." [quick smile to punctuate]

Chris and I find comfort in the fact that, although they might someday be President and Vice President of the Chess Club, or graduates of the Pond's Institute, the boys know how to have a good time...

[They're drinking root beer and sparkling cider on New Year's Eve in our basement.  They begged to stay up until midnight (a big deal at Ross Inc.).  Toddler Child and I were sleeping, which is why they were partying in the basement - so as not to wake us.  They'll be considerate hell-raisers.  We're so proud.]

If you really loved me, you would.

Oldest Boy asked if we could rent West Side Story.  His dance and music teachers at school have been playing clips from the movie in class.  He convinced Middle boy that it was about gangs and he'd really, really, really like it.  I love old movies, especially musicals, so I was thrilled.  We found a copy at Blockbuster and grabbed Karate Kid II as well.

We watched the first half of West Side Story last week, on a school night.  On our way home from skiing Saturday afternoon, assuming they had forgotten about the Jets and the Sharks, I reminded the boys we could watch Karate Kid II.  Oldest Boy said, "Can we watch the rest of West Side Story first?"  I was so pleased.  Middle Boy was not.

We showered, got in pajamas, made our popcorn and cocktails, and finished West Side Story.

Middle Boy disappeared towards the end of the movie, but he watched longer than I thought he would.  We heard the hum of an electric pencil sharpener coming from his room. [He loves to draw with colored pencils.]

I was sitting with Chris.

Me:  Let's pretend you're Tony and I'm Maria.

Chris:  Sure! [wheels turning]

Me:  Tony has nice hair and a full mouth.  Would you consider a little filler in your lips?

Chris:  No. [buzzkill]

Me:  would you consider hair extensions?

Chris:  No. [double buzzkill]

Me:  Will you at least sing "Maria" to me?

Chris:  I can't sing.

Me:  Yes you can.  Come on.  Do it.  Please...

Chris:  No.

Me:  What about "Somewhere"?  That's so romantic.

Chris:  No.

Me:  Fine.  I'll sing my parts and your parts. [clearing throat]

Oldest Boy:  Dad, sing "Cool" or the "Jet Song".  Those are good!

Chris:  This isn't going how I thought it would.

Me:  My mother almost named me Maria you know...

Eddie Haskell lives here now.

Middle Boy got in trouble last night.  The issue was attitude and I addressed it with him before Chris got home.  That makes it sound like I had a, "Now son..." conversation.  It was more like I was dying to get my hands on him, but knew I shouldn't touch him, because I might touch him too hard.  So I spoke loudly, my face very close to his face.  You know, so he could read my lips if he wasn't hearing me clearly.

I punctuated the conversation with the humiliating Mom-Chest-Poke move.  Before sending him to his room to think about what we'd discussed, I said, "DO [poke] YOU [poke] UNDERSTAND [poke] ME [poke]?!  [Poke, poke, poke - just because.]  He did.

Chris got home, talked to him again and didn't poke him.  We both hugged him and helped him lick his wounds a bit without removing the new expectation.  He was sorry for what had happened and was smiling and in good spirits before dinner.

Eddie Haskell Appearance #1

Middle Boy:  Can I help you Mom?

Me:  Sure.  Would you like to set the table?

Middle Boy:  Yes, please!

Me:  You don't have to answer "Yes, please," Honey.

Middle Boy:  Sorry.

Me:  You don't have to be sorry.

Middle Boy:  Okay. [smiling]

I had cooked a roast in the Crock-Pot.  I threw in a few diced onions, carrots, roasted garlic, a few other spices, and two cups of red wine.  It simmered all day and tasted good, but wine was definitely flavoring the meat.

Chris complimented the meal and asked how I had prepared it.  I told him.  Middle Boy looked concerned.  I explained that it didn't taste exactly like wine and the heat burns off the alcohol.  Try it, I said, you'll like it.  [He'd only eaten his potatoes up to this point.]

He took a bite.  His eyes watered a little and his nostrils flared.

Eddie Haskell Appearance #2

Me:  What do you think?

Middle Boy:  Well [smiling and blinking], the bad taste is 80% gone.

Me:  So it only tastes 20% bad?

Middle Boy:  Yes.

Me:  Would you like a hot dog?

Middle Boy:  Yes, please. [smiling]

As we were clearing the table, I noticed the boys need haircuts.  I cut their hair typically before a shower or bath.  They hate it.  Not having short hair, but the process, whether I do it or someone else does.  It's like flossing to them, or putting gas in the car for me.  Needs to be done, but how about later?  I understand.

Eddie Haskell Appearance #3

Me:  You guys need a haircut.  Want to get it over with tonight?

Oldest Boy: [silent]

Middle Boy:  [smiling and blinking] If you don't mind, I'd rather not.  I was unsuspected.

Me:  Oh.  Okay.  I'll give you more of a head's-up in the future.

Middle Boy: [cheerfully] Thank you, Mom!  I'll go take a bath now.  Toddler Child, would you like to join me?